WE GOT INFINITE OPTIONS. WE LOST INTENTION.

If dating feels more exhausting than exciting lately, it’s not just you.
We’ve normalised a system that was never actually built for love — it was built for engagement, distraction, and dopamine.
And now, more and more intentional singles are starting to question the cost.

According to YouGov, one in three people say they’d never use a dating app again.
That’s not just fatigue — that’s a wake-up call.

So how did we get here? And what do we do with the tools we’ve built?

1. The Addiction Loop.

Every swipe delivers a hit of dopamine — the same chemical loop casinos rely on.
Each match feels like a “win,” keeping you on the treadmill of validation.
They’re not designed to help youfindlove. They’re designed to keep youchasingit.

2. The Algorithm Wants You Single.

The longer you’re on the app, the more money they make.
So while you’re searching for “the one,” they’re optimising for “just one more swipe.”
Connection isn’t their goal —retentionis.

3. Judging by Looks, Not Energy.

Apps have trained us to select with our thumbs, not our hearts.
We scroll through people like menus — reducing complex humans into photos, bios, and “types.”
That constant exposure rewires us to prioritise attraction over alignment, leaving little room for genuine compatibility.

4. A Diluted Pool of Intentions.

Today’s dating culture is flooded with “still figuring it out.”
Clarity and commitment are often seen as intense — when really, they’re the foundation of emotional safety.
The bar has been set so low that intentionality almost feels radical.

5. Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, and the Slow Erosion of Hope.

What was meant to bring us closer has instead normalised disconnection.
Ghosting is routine. Breadcrumbing keeps you hooked just enough to stay hopeful.
We’re now in a world where basic decency feels like a green flag.

6. Safety Still Lags Behind.

Apps have made it easier than ever to meet new people — but not necessarilysafepeople.
With limited verification, fake profiles and bad actors slip through.
When it comes to our hearts (and lives), “swipe at your own risk” shouldn’t be the default.

The Truth: Apps Aren’t Evil — But They’re Not Enough.

Let’s be clear: dating apps aren’t the villain.
They gave us access — to new people, possibilities, and experiences we’d never have found otherwise.
Butaccess without boundaries is chaos.

Too many people log in without clarity:

• “I’ll see what happens.”

• “I’m not sure what I want.”

• “I don’t want anything serious… unless you’re perfect.”

When no one is clear, no one is protected.
Boundaries are what transform access into opportunity.

The Next Chapter of Modern Dating.

The truth?Modern datingisbroken — but not beyond repair.
The tools were meant to connect us, but without clarity and boundaries, they’ve created chaos instead.

The next evolution isn’t “apps vs no apps.”
It’sintention vs autopilot.

Whether you meet someone through an app, a friend, or a curated community — the work is the same:
get clear, be honest, and raise your standards.

Because love isn’t found by swiping harder.
It’s built when we start dating better.

—
💌Written by Mark, Founder The Little Black Book Australia

Dating. Redefined.
thelittleblackbook.au